When starting a practice of mindfulness, you must first begin with Self-Love. Without loving yourself, giving attention to your needs, you lose most of the value of mindfulness. It isn’t selfish or conceitedness to put value in yourself. Practicing Self-Love means that you are tending to your own well-being.
Self-love is important because it affects how you feel, how the world sees you, and even your physical health. Your home life, work performance, and your social life improve with better self-love practice.
Mindfulness is built on accepting thoughts, learning how to appreciate the moment, and improving on your thoughts. When we move to a more positive mindset, we become more confident and powerful. Some people might think that power means ego, and that ego is a negative thing.
Self-Love and Egos are GOOD!
When you live mindfully, you are taking the time and effort to create a good, positive, experience in everything you do. From eating, sleep, and working out, to parenting and your relationships, mindfulness creates a flow of positive energy that makes you feel happy and want to share that joy with others.
When your ego, or your part of your identity that is “YOU” or your conscious mind, is tended to through mindfulness you are able to become more confident and more forgiving of yourself.
Live with intention and purpose
When you are focused on what you need, it is challenging to stay stuck in the past or repeating negative behavior. People who practice self-love actually take better care of their needs and bodies. Self-love is putting effort into eating healthy, taking care of their bodies, placing sleep as a priority and making healthy connections with other people.
Your life becomes intentional, not mindless moving from day to day. You know that you are tending to the most valuable person in your life, because your life has a purpose.
Get rid of the negative
Many of us have people in our lives that we know aren’t good for us. Either they are people that used to be friends, but now just make you uncomfortable because you know that they are just not good for you. Get rid of them!
When you are tending to yourself, you are also driving out the people that want to hold you back and keep you down. Don’t be pressured to keep up with people who aren’t on the same path you are on. If your goal is to get more sleep and take better care of your body, but your friends are demanding that you go out and party with them til early hours and drink all the time, then you need to set boundaries or perhaps even remove these people from your life.
If you are involved in a relationship that is continually making you feel bad about yourself or damaging to your self-worth, you need to move to a better relationship.
5 things you can do right now to practice self-love
1. Make a “Favorite things” list – write down all of the things that make you happy. Is it puppies, running, or watching babies laugh? Write it down! When you are feeling like you need a pick-me-up, try to do a few things on your Favorite things list.
2. Every day do something nice for yourself. Maybe it's spending a few minutes at night pampering your skin, or going to the gym, perhaps even spending a few extra minutes in the shower. Whatever it is that you enjoy, make that part of your day.
3. Purge your house! Many of us hold on to things we don’t need or want. My closet used to be full of clothes that I swore I was going to fit into later, once I lost a few more pounds. But every time I saw those clothes, I felt terrible about myself because I hadn’t reached those goals. Or books someone gave me to read that I hadn’t enjoyed or found interest in enough to pick back up littered my bookshelves. Clean your mind and your house, let go of negative thoughts and clutter.
4. Make a dream “to do list” and enjoy the planning. I have a dream house, and I go there in my mind when I’m stressed. It’s a small house on the island of Kauai, it’s white with navy shutters. There are free-roaming chickens that pick through the yard and organic herbs that grow in high boxes along the house. My dream “to do” list sometimes involves learning to paddleboard in the cove by my dream house, or searching through online decorating magazines for images of things I’d put in my house. It’s comforting and nice. There are no judgments or limitations to my dream.
5. Stop saying you are sorry for things you can’t control or shouldn’t feel bad about. When you speak up for yourself and someone doesn’t like it, YOU don’t have to be sorry. Have the courage to be yourself and be real.
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
― C.G. Jung