The youngest of our 5 is about to be a sophomore in high school this year. And as I was reminiscing about how fast these last 15 years have gone for her, I realized that I only have a few more years left to make sure she is ready to take those important steps into her own adult world. The Teens are now preparing for life away from home. This is when we need to kick up the teaching and help them prepare for adulthood.
I started going through the checklists that her brothers all had to master before heading off on their own to see lessons my daughter needs to be sure of before she’s on her own. We’ve spent the last 15 years learning how to tie shoes, do well in school, make new friends, and care for herself. Now she turns her eyes towards the things she’ll need to be on her own, her adult life skills.
Do your teens know how to write a check? Balance their bank account? How do they keep a track of how much money they have coming in and going out?
All of my sons were very surprised at how much it actually costs to live on their own. They priced out the cost of rent for their apartments against how much money they made. But before signing their lease we sat them down to make sure they can also cover food, electricity, water, gas, as well as food.
Having a visual budget they could look out really helped to be able to make sure they were covering their bills and even saving for car repairs. But be ready, even though they look ready, they will still need help even after they move out. We still get calls asking for guidance and even help with bills here and there.
Now we have gone over it a few times about calling 911 if they are hurt, AAA for towing, and yes they can still call home too. But what if we aren’t available?
Having a mental call list in case of an emergency is vital to be sure they are getting the best care when we can’t be there to help.
Trust me, teen boys and some girls will try to get by on Top Ramen and Doritos. But they need to know how to know what the true cost of their item is, price per lb. And they need to know how to avoid supermarket money traps. Teach them a few easy recipes they can make in a few minutes.
Tip: Once a week have your son or daughter make dinner for the family. This includes looking for the recipe, shopping and using coupons, and making a meal within a budget.
I’ve asked my teen daughter to grab my phone when it rings and she looks at me like it’s on fire. So I know that’s a skill we need to work on. Can your teen take a message from someone they don’t know?
It's never too late to play telephone and catch up on these life skills.
Do they know how to check to be sure if they should open the door? What if someone tries to come in without their permission?
During the summer, we get a lot of door to door sales people that are perfect targets opportunities to practice this important skill.
Did you know one in four women college women have survived rape, attempted rape, or unwanted physical altercations?
Hate crimes against Muslim and Jewish students have gone on far too long. Students are being beaten, tortured, and even killed here in the United States, not in back allies and dangerous areas, but on college campus locations across the country. Does your son or daughter know what do to protect themselves?
From knowing when to ask for tutoring for a class to know when to come to talk to their parents about a bad relationship, we all have to encourage our teens to have an open relationship with us. If they feel like they can’t talk to us, do they have someone they can turn to?
It might be hard for parents to accept. But giving your young adults a call list of other people to call might save their lives. Maybe it is clergy, a suicide hotline, or a family friend. They all need to know who they can confide in when they need to talk or ask for help.
Making these simple appointments regularly before they leave high school will give them the life skills and confidence to do them on their own later.
This summer, have your teen make some appointments for you. These can be crossed off your To-Do list and give them time to work out how to get appointments accomplished.
As hard as it is to watch them make mistakes, it’s our job to start to take the hands off and let them do it.
Tip: Pick a day of the week and teach them how to do one load of darks, colors, whites, and delicates. Example – Monday Darks, Tuesday Colors, ect. Overwhelming them will make them zone out.
You would be surprised at how many people have no idea how to care for their own cars. Now is the time to get them ready for their step they’ll need to take after driving away from home.
There are so many life skills that they will learn along the way as well as things that we will continue to teach them as they go. These are just a few of the life skills I know I’ll be working on with my daughter this summer.
This blog is so timely. I was just thinking bout this subject for my own kids last night. It’s funny how so much of what we took for granted as kids (answering the phone and taking a message, working with our hands, cooking, etc) doesn’t come as easily to our kids. They just aren’t exposed to the same things we were. Thanks for the list!
You are welcome. It is amazing how many things we THINK they knew how to do, but.. when out on their own, they just didn’t have a clue.
This is great! I often think of this for my daughter, since I moved across the country from my family immediately after high school and my parents hadnt really taught me any of these important life lessons. I did not have a financial plan or safety net, had no one to call in case of emergency, and had no idea how to shop for big important life purchases (an apartment, a car, etc.). I made a lot of mistakes learning on my own along the way and I want to make sure that my daughter is better prepared for entering the world after high school!
Same here. But it was something I felt I would do differently with my own. I still found things after my kids left home that I wished I had pressed on them more.
Agreed! We mustn’t forget cooking! I think every child, male and female should learn basic cooking skills before heading to college. Not only will it save them lots of dough but also prevents them from having to depend on others for a meal😊
I completely agree!
Great, well put together list!
Thanks!
One thing I’ve done that has worked really well is to use resources with my kids. They are 12 and 16, and they don’t always want to listen to their parents.
Sometimes I’ll find cool videos on YouTube that we can watch together and talk about. Other times I’ll find video lessons. I find videos work the best because we can all watch them together… but I think you have to find videos that are funny and short so that your kids can relate.
I use a lot of videos from a site called preparemykid.com. My kids always like those videos because they’re funny and the topics are usually right on with what my kids are going through.
That’s really cool. I’ll have to check those out!