This year as we focus on mindfulness I want you to stop and think about the beautiful relationships in your life. I am blessed with some incredible and beautiful relationships that have enriched my life and made me appreciate each day.
Being part of the NOW also means appreciating the positive influences in your life.
I know that there are so many people out there looking for the perfect mate and hoping that somehow by finding that one person they will feel entirely complete. I’ve been on the other side of happy, feeling as if I was so alone that each morning was a disappointment to find that I would wake up alone again.
Back then, I was only briefly aware of the beautiful friendships I was so lucky to have. I look back now at that time and shake my head, wishing I had opened my eyes more to see how alone I WASN’T.
Make Good Choices
We all make choices of how to feel. We make the choice to be happy, angry, or to be sad. Even though it’s hard to change those more powerful emotions it is our choice to accept them or not. I'm not saying that physical depression isn't real, or that you have a choice. This is more about our feelings and those things we can control.
When I was sad and depressed as a young single mother in my 20’s, it was MY choice to feel that way; it was a struggle to accept the situation and not feel overwhelmed by the world. There were times when I looked around at my house and saw how dark and complicated it was and knew that it was my choice to allow it to be that way. My house was a reflection of my life and step by step I needed to put away the clutter and get back to a balanced place.
“Clean up the mess, clean up my thoughts.”
When I began to work on myself, I realized I had pushed everyone out of my life, and I had no friends. None.
I was angry and alone, and I had to face that this was a choice I had made.
Eventually, I chose for myself and my children to let go of a lot of anger and pain from the past and move to a place where I could be free. Again and again, I need to take stock of life and make sure that I am not filling my world with clutter and complication.
I know that I am an emotional hoarder.
I hold on to things sometimes that have meaning, not because I NEED them. However, because they are placeholders for memories. These touch-points bring me back to a place in time and good memories. And yes, I probably should let go of a few silly things, but it is a work in progress.
In my life I am blessed with wonderful people who not only help me to feel free and find my happy place. With acceptance of friendships and relationships, I've found that I don't need to hold on to the physical items because I have new memories being made every day.
We all have quirks.
I never felt like a “people person” because I am an introvert and being social is difficult for me. Through the years I have gathered others around that don’t seem to mind my quirks and need to be a hermit from time to time. It is through understanding my own character that I have learned how to understand other people better.
Thankfully the people I am close to, understand my need to have a break and hibernate over the winter. However, my best friend is my husband, someone kind and caring, who know when I need to explode.
Through the years I have given him hell, and he’s been a rock on the shore of my tempests. Without him, I wonder where my direction would have sent me.
Today I am happy, healthy(ish), and robust about who I am because of the security and support he’s given me. Sure, there are times when I want to toss everything in the middle of the room and set it on fire because I am feeling lost or annoyed at the world. However, he’s there to cool it all down and bring me back to center. That is a beautiful thing.
Friendship with women is hard!
I don’t know how to get along with women very well. Having been burned by females through most of my life, I have a hard time letting them get close to me. My best friends have always been guys. I could trust that even though they often said what they thought bluntly without warning, they were honest about how they felt.
Guys are usually pretty predictable. But women on the other hand, meh. I just don’t relate very well.
There are friends that I have found that have made their way into my hearts, and I am not sure how! These wise women that know exactly when to pass the wine, funny women who make me laugh instead of punching someone, some as introverted as I am and drag me out for lunch dates, and others who are whom I want to be when I grow up. Even though it’s been hard trusting these women, they seem to get it and just let it be. That’s pretty amazing.
Life is hard, but made better with friendships.
No matter how hard life has been there has always been a choir of friends and family there. Sometimes they are just harder to hear when the pressures and pain of life sing louder, but they are always there singing this beautiful song of love and friendship. You have to choose to let their song be the one that guides you and directs you back to a good place.
Depression sucks you in, but don’t let it be your only friend.
Thank you to all of my beautiful relationships. Thank you for never letting me win, never letting me have the last word, and never letting me sink under the water.
~ C. ~