Sharp. Tearing. Never ending. Some days, that’s my pain. When I open my eyes and start to move slowly in my bed, there it is. The reminder that somewhere, something will hurt today.
There are days when the weather is warm, the light pours in through the windows, and I wake up and don’t move as I soak in the comfort of this moment. Sometimes I stall getting out of bed, hoping for a few more minutes of this loveliness. Those days I’m thankful for sleeping through the night, waking up rested. I know this is a rare thing, and I’ll appreciate it while I can.
I live with chronic pain.
My diagnosis wasn’t easy to come by, Lyme Disease. I had hoped for something curable, something that as a 20 something, I could treat and move on. This wasn’t the case. Now I live a life of treating symptoms and challenging my diagnosis.
When I bend my finger, just one… my right pointer finger, I feel the pull and ache. It’s tight today, not terrible, just uncomfortable. Today I’ll need some CBD oil to ease the ache since I’m a writer and that finger is essential to me. I can rub it into the places that hurt and in a few minutes the pain settles down. I don’t need the high. CBD doesn’t have the psychoactive properties that THC has. Yes, it’s still made from Cannabis but it is the oil that is extracted that is used for pain and inflammation.
Cannabidiol is a chemical that occurs in hemp plants and marijuana. People who are considering using CBD oil should discuss this with their doctors. Doctors will want to monitor the person for any changes and make adjustments accordingly.
I’ve become an advocate of marijuana.
That wasn’t always me. I’m a rule follower. I didn’t have my first drink until my 21st birthday and didn’t have another til many years later. I don’t speed. I use the crosswalks. Moreover, I had never tried marijuana until I was 41 and only after my doctor suggested it.
I moved to Washington state; it is a recreational state. Access to herbal pain treatments is easy. But more and more, doctors and medical professionals are looking to CBD oils as a treatment option for inflammation, cancer, and pain.
CBD oil is now available through many herbal shops and can be found online.
Through the years I have had so many prescriptions for pain relievers, tried acupuncture, meditation, heat, cold, and more. My liver suffered from the drugs, but without them often I couldn’t move from my bed. I was scared walking in the door the day that I decided to try marijuana.
I didn’t want to get high. I don’t like feeling out of control. Yet I needed to try something else, and I’d spent months reading about the benefits of marijuana and how it has helped so many people just like myself to relieve pain and reduce inflammation.
“Please just help me to feel better.”
That’s what I said to the young man behind the counter at the dispensary. I didn’t know what I wanted, or how to use it. I needed help.
There was no judgment or looking at me strangely. Just information about how to take it slow, learn about the milligrams, edibles vs. smoking.
I learned that I don’t like smoking, my lungs are already damaged from reoccurring pneumonia. But topicals help my joint aches without any other side effects. I learned that I could use low dose CBD capsules in place of liver damaging naproxen and it can help restore my liver.
CBD works within the endocannabinoid system in your body. That biological system serves important roles in the human body. This system is crucial for regulating our physiology, mood, and pain levels.
I never thought I’d be Weed Mom, but it has helped me stay clear of opioids. The stereotype bothered me until I realized that I can now go out and live a fuller life with reduced pain and even a little less stress.
Stress is painful. After I turned 40 I started having anxiety and struggled to deal with stress. My cortisol levels surged as my body continued to fight my disease and I got older. These painful and terrifying attacks made me think I was dying and even worse, I felt like I was going crazy. But studies are showing that CBD oil can help reduce the cortisol levels and fight anxiety.
I talked with each of my kids about my use, and I feared their judgment or their reactions. But they understood, and they supported my fight. My kids grew up seeing me in pain, watching me feel sick because of the meds that I needed.
Talking with my family about my needs helped me to come to terms with feeling like I wasn’t a good role model. Surprisingly they all had great suggestions on how they thought I could feel better and wanted to be a part of my battle against Lyme disease. I needed to let them in.
I don’t smoke. That’s not my thing. But the tinctures in my tea, rub on my joints, and capsules to help me sleep at night do help me to live a better life.
I still wake up in pain most days. Then I make my way to the bathroom and start my routine to feeling better.
Then living my life.