This was a powerful song for me when it was sang by Sinéad O’Connor in 1990, I was going through a traumatic time in my life and I remember playing this song over and over, tears streaming down my face as I ached from a broken heart and the searing pain of losing every connection I’d ever made in life. I felt totally alone and broken.
That year I attempted suicide, this song and others playing on a mixtape that I assumed would have been played at my funeral that likely wouldn’t have happened. I pulled the trigger on a small handgun, thankfully not killing myself and not doing more damage than a damaged eardrum and ringing in my ears that lasted for days. But that ringing wasn’t as loud as the confusion and questions that screamed in my head for months.
Prince was powerful for me then, really for my whole life.
When he died I felt a fresh new wave of pain settle in for a while. It was a harsh reminder of my dark days, a truth that people who you think are immortal actually do die.
Today they gave to the public his previously unreleased version. Yes, I cried again. There is something so beautiful and haunting about hearing his voice sing this moving song. I’ve listened to it a few times today.
It’s so lonely without you here.
I miss him. Well, my version of him that as a fan you create in your mind. To me, he was this eccentric introvert musical genius that is/was simply a being of magic and light. My version of him wasn’t in pain, wasn’t lost to this chemical crisis that is one by one robbing the world of souls that shouldn’t be stolen like that.
But he is gone, like other magical creatures that have left us recently struggling in a mad mad world. Bowie, Prince, Petty… all now gone and the world feels so wrong without them.