I think sometimes that we get into a rut of apologizing for things that we shouldn't be apologizing for. Judged for our bitch faces, judged for our silence, judged for standing true to who we are. Speaking up and saying what needs to be said. Then we are compelled to apologize just to make other people happy.
Here's the thing, if you do something wrong… yes, by all means. Stand up like a grown up and apologize. If you purposely set out to hurt someone, if you were cruel or mocked others for their pain, then yes… you owe apologies.
But I won't apologize for being a strong woman. I don't have to make excuses for knowing what I can and won't tolerate in my life.
I have high standards that I set out for myself, a promise that I made to my younger self. And I won't back down on those for anyone.
- Don't take shit from anyone, because some people just want to sling it for no damned good reason. That doesn't mean you have to catch it. Be strong and walk away.
- You won't always agree with everyone, but you don't have to say it. Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut and just let it play out.
- When you act like a bitch, with venom and fire, you aren't strong. You are just being a bitch.
- Don't kiss anyone's ass. You won't feel good about it, and everyone sees through it.
- Vengeance is for the weak minded. Let it go, hold your head high, and know that a new life without anger is ahead.
- Don't apologize for being true to who you are, for your morals, for anyone else. But don't fail to apologize when you did nothing to prevent injustice when it is right in front of you. If you see someone you care about being mean to someone else. Be strong enough to stop it.
My Bitch Face may be fierce, but it is nothing compared to the armor I wear around my heart.
My whole life I've been told that a lady doesn't fight back. She turns the other cheek and doesn't react in anger.
When I look at that now, from a distance, it's training to be submissive and abused. Training to take a punch, lick your lip, and make sure dinner is on time.
I've taken a few really good punches, but the ones that hurt the most were the ones that I didn't expect. The words that came from safe places, the cuts that sank to personal levels, and the bitch slaps that came unexpectedly.
Those leave battle scars and change the way you look at other people, because you can't forget the pain.
My pain made me stronger.
Stronger so I can stand up for what I believe in, even against those I love. Stronger so my children know that no matter where they go in life, if they need me… I'll tear down walls to be there. I'm stronger so I can be the sort of friend that takes the crap, lets it go, and is still there when you call at 2am. I won't apologize for being strong.
Don't ask me to apologize for being the kind of person you asked me to be when you needed someone strong enough to be your friend.