The sun is out, the soft summer breeze is sneaking through the window as I try to put my head around everything that has happened. The calm says peace, even thought the cold stone in the pit of my stomach says there is never peace. I’ve traveled on, moved away and changed everything I can. I need this for me.
I catch myself standing in line at Starbucks being called by my new name and finding that it sits well in the air. I like the sound of change. I look down the road that I traveled to get here, the skinned knees and bruises, the tears and the wasted time. The barista calls my name again, my latte is getting cold as I stand there pondering things that have already passed.
It’s Monday, a new week. Last week was hell. Nightmares tried to crawl out of my dreams and back into reality. Time to start over, every week a new chance to do better than the week before.
I’m over the serial stalkers, manic liars, and bullshit that makes me sick. Call me cold, heartless, or without a soul, I don’t care. We all make choices on how we want to live our lives. You don’t have to agree with them. But you also don’t have to live my life. I don’t write for you, I don’t live for you, and I don’t think about you… ever.
The sand slips out through the tiny holes in the seashells that move across my table and I think that once this shell held a life, in a different place and time. But now it has a new life, and it is moving on. Time to sweep away the sand and enjoy the day. I am tired of wasting my precious time.