Why do you think you have Lyme Disease?
You really think that this bacteria floats around in your body for years and years and you are just walking around? You are here, walking and talking and on my table getting tests and you believe that you are filled with this deadly bacteria? Nonsense.
Don't believe everything you are told by doctors, stay away from them. Eat more papaya and live your life!
Last week I was undergoing more tests, trying to discover the cause and maybe even a response to the regular tremors that I live with. For the first time since being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, I had a doctor flat out say that he didn't believe in Lyme and it was impossible.
Now let me say that I have actually heard of doctors saying this. But this is the first time anyone has said it to me directly and when that happens, it really throws you for a loop!
I was having a test where they hook you up and send zaps of electricity through your hands, feet, legs, ect. and measure the reaction. NOT FUN. Then they put needles into your muscles and “listen” to the sound they make when you flex. Again… NOT FUN.
But when this man stood there while putting me through pain and said that everything I knew about living with Chronic Lyme Disease was a lie, that I wasn't in fact living with anything. I was more shocked and frustrated about that then about what my body was going through.
Here is why I haven't just blown off everything he said.
What if he is right?
At the end of the test he said that the had no real reasonable explanation for my tremors that sometimes it just happens. For no reason or illness he believes that sometimes muscles just twitch, shake, or fire off electrical impulses. That is something he can believe in. But he can not believe that a bug bite can cause widespread pain, illness, fatigue, tremors, headaches, ect.
I was stunned and confused.
Here is the problem. I've been to a dozen doctors since being diagnosed. They have ran tests, they have put me on different medications, and none of them can actually come up with anything ( except the B12 injections ) that can help me to feel better and live in less discomfort. If all of their attempts fail they all return to Lyme Disease being the culprit and tell me that it is the nature of my disease and there is nothing they can do.
That is just as bad as saying you don't believe in Lyme to start with!
Through the last 15 years I have learned how to mitigate my illness. I've found coping techniques to deal with the daily pain, swelling, and fatigue. I've modified my diet and I have come to terms with knowing that I have limitations. But what if that is just learning how to mitigate life??
Something he said sticks with me and this is why I can't let it go.
“Stop believing you have this disease and start living your life. Stay away from doctors and eat more papayas. ”
Once you have had Lyme for as long as I have, you face this life knowing that it isn't going away. But what if believing in your disease and it's limitations is actually what is making you so sick? What if following up month after month with doctor after doctor in search of more answers that always seem to lead back exactly where I start is the problem?
Last week I had three big tests, all of them time consuming and painful. I was strapped to a table for 45 minutes while they injected dye into my body so they could see it in my brain. This is ridiculous and the whole time I was just lying there thinking how frustrated and upset I was that this disease has caused me to lose so much and here I was in pain and upset at there wasn't anything more I could do about it.
“Stay away from doctors and eat more papayas.”
I've lived for the last 15 years with the weight of this disease on my shoulders. What if I could just stop believing in the power and weight of it and just focus more on living the healthiest life possible?
All of this just sort of makes my head spin a little as I try to process it all.
Lyme Disease is real. But are the limitations?