Stop Labeling Children!

Let Kids Be KIDS! It's hard enough for them to figure out who they are without adults assigning labels for them.

There is a trend right now to prove how much you support homosexuality.   I fully agree, there's nothing wrong with being supportive. I've raised 5 of my own children and I love WHO each of them have become.  It never mattered to me if they were gay, straight, or somewhere in between. What matters is that they are healthy, safe, and know who they are and how much they are loved.  That's it.

Here's where I am probably going to piss some people off…. but children do not need to choose which sexual preference or gender identity in elementary school.

They should be allowed to come and go, explore ideas, move on naturally in any direction they please.

But when parents start labeling their children as gay, lesbian, pink boys, tomboy, ect.  they are damaging them and skewing their child's view of the world. They are restricting the free movement of a child's exploration of themselves when they dominate that exploration with labels.

Don't make your child feel as if they have to live up to your expectations in order to make you happy. Stop trying to win the parent of the year award by announcing how thrilled you are to have a “pink boy” or as one mommy blogger put it, her “gender confused daughter”.

Almost daily I see on blogs and articles parents who are “standing up” for the rights of their very young children to be seen as gay.  Mothers are posting photos of their sons wearing dresses and tiaras and passing them around like trading cards.  Stop it!  For God's sake!  What if your son gets to puberty and actually starts to have those “happy” feelings for a…. girl.

You are pretty much damaging any chance that kid is going to get for getting out of high school without some sort of break down. Does a child's sexual preference need to define them?  Create a loving home and it won't matter if your daughter discovers that she'd rather be in a relationship with a girl?  Let them live their lives without everyone else giving an opinion. Stop making your children into your “Lifetime Movie”.

Here's the thing.. I don't have any issue with being gay, straight, curly, or bouncy. I don't define people by their orientation. I love my children for them, not for their future sexual partners. I have friends of all standards in their sexuality and identities, but the difference is that they are adults, and even then I don't label them.

Yes, some of my friends have said that they knew at an early age which direction they preferred. But it was out of social pressure that they leaned towards traditional roles. So take out the pressure to be boxed in! Yet don't pressure children into situations that they might just be working out on their own, being transgender is a difficult choice that shouldn't be made over brunch and a Mommy Blog article.

Adults have the right to figure out where their pointer is leading them.  But children are exploratory, that doesn't mean that if your son put on his sister's party dress that you need to rush out and buy him a full wardrobe of dresses and your vision of what gay men find attractive.

Just chill the heck out! And I am not the only one thinking this.  I was glad to see that there are other bloggers out there that are also seeing that posting every moment of your child's life might not be the best thing.. not to mention the fact that most people don't want to know every meal your child has ever eaten or how many times he had to poop.

I have kids.. a lot of them in fact have called our house home, some were born to us, some were given to us, and some just naturally were attracted to the constant noise of our lawn.  We were lucky to have lots of boys and  girls who taught US a lot about being parents.

Our boys have gone on to be men and have moved in and out of relationships, settled down, and figured out where their attractions lie. We had a house full of trucks and trains, legos and dolls, kitchen sets and nerf guns.

There were moments when some of the boys were a bit curious about the free air supply under those dresses, tried them on, enjoyed the curiosity, and moved right back into their TMNT t-shirts and shorts. There was no fuss made, no demands that they be more manly, no rushing out to tell me friends that my son was gay.

You just gotta let it play out.

We don't need to have children labeled. They don't need to be told that they are gay, straight, ADHD,OCD, GT!   We just need to be open-minded and let them explore the world.

You don't need to hide them behind closed doors and whisper that they might have a problem, but you also don't need to post on ever social media outlet in the world that your child is gay and you are going to make sure they stay that way.  Let them be children and don't put their every moment on the internet.  It might not bother you.. because you have made your choice.  But it will bother them when this comes back up in their lives later, and don't think it won't.

I wonder, can we really go back to a world where families didn't share the intimate details of their lives with strangers or is it too late?  What do you think?


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11 thoughts on “Stop labeling your kids!”

  1. I couldn’t agree more and this labeling should stop for all kind of things e.g. professional choices etc. It appears parents often transfer their ambitions to the children.

    1. Parents have always tried to live through their children, now they are trying to do so with the support of the world behind them. It’s far more damaging now that this stigma won’t ever be free from the children.

    1. Thanks Jonathan for the reblog. And it’s ok that we don’t totally agree, that’s what makes us special. But I am glad that you read the article and that you shared it with others. Have a great day!

    1. Exactly. I have someone I know who is obsessed with making sure her children have gender neutral toys at all times and is really upset when someone suggests a “boy” or “girl” toy for her children.

      I say.. let them be kids!

  2. I’m not sure if you are more against labeling kids or having parents post intimate details of their kids lives. Or I guess, maybe both. You are correct, there are many who support your view. But when you see a pic or a blog post related to a child being transgender or gay, you don’t see what may have gone on behind the scenes. Often, young children are bringing these issues to their parents. The parents aren’t forcing the issue upon the children. The parent who has a child who is adamant that they have born in the wrong body is presented with a very complicated choice. It’s much more complex than just trying on the opposite gender’s clothes, or playing dress-up. It sounds like your children, like my son, played dress up as they wanted but never had any question about their gender or sexual orientation. These are very difficult choices for parents under different circumstances and they deserve our compassion and our ability to admit (if it is factual) that we do not understand these things. We have not experienced them. We do not know how we would respond if placed in the same situation. I wouldn’t call it a trend that people are “supporting homosexuality”. I would call it an understanding by our younger generations that these labels you speak of have very little meaning to what it is to be a compassionate caring individual.

    1. Great response! I completely agree that the rare children who do have gender issues know very early on where their arrow points and their parents have a complicated and emotional challenge trying to help the child become who they are dreaming of being. I know parents of a transgender child and the distinction is very clear early on. As my own children have grown up, each of them tested out various roles in their exploration.

      I believe my point that I could have made clearer isn’t that trans children don’t exist or don’t need support, it is that there are parents that needlessly put that struggle on their children because THE PARENTS are seeking attention.

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