Just trust me

I have a friend, someone I’ve always known I think. We knew each other at first sight and trusted each other without questions, something neither of us were used to doing. He made me laugh, made me learn how to live, and often made me cry. We flirted with dating, but ultimately we had to overcome our youth and come to give up the notion of being a couple and making something new together. He was the first person I ever trusted, my first real friend, and the first person to ever really know me.

When we were kids he was a daredevil and always trying to get me to follow his craziness. When I would find myself scared out of my mind, he would reach out his hand and take mine tight in his and with a twinkle in his eyes he would softly say.. ” Just trust me ” and I could not help but to just let go of my fear and leap.

Now 25 years later I have several very close friends and most of them are men.  I find that I enjoy their ways of thinking a little more than the bond I have with my female friends. The way they can separate emotions from fact, the pure ability to laugh without restraint, and the way they see things are so different from the female relationships I have.

My friends are very much unlike the relationship I have with my husband.  He and I have something just a little different, very special to me, and we are very much in love.  I love the way he makes me laugh.. Yet we are still great friends, and he, like the others have this fascinating way of thinking that sometimes drives me crazy trying to understand and other times I just trust in his strength.

Yesterday I was so lucky to be able to enjoy another incredible day with two of my dearest friends as Daniel brought his lovely wife and new son to meet me for the first time.  And I brought my husband and my youngest, my daughter, to meet him for the first time. I feared there would be weirdness with the first meeting. But the fear was in my head and wasn’t there at all.

old friendThe first few minutes were a mixture of my own wanting to relax and just get to know her, catch up with him, and hope that here would be a friendship of our families. His son was adorable and just melted my heart with his big blue eyes and a smile so charming he reminded me of his father. Instinctively I felt myself pulling away and wanting to just grasp the situation as it turned into reality.  And my friend seemed to know and understand this and give me just a bit of space. Yes, just enough that I could find my feet again and figure out how to let our friendship return in this awkward meeting.

Just take it slow, find our bond, and trust that two of my best and dearest friends were there to make sure nothing bad would come, and it didn’t. By the end of the day we were laughing and wishing we didn’t have to part. My husband was laughing and making his own jokes, his wife was telling stories that made me just love her, and I couldn’t help but smile as I saw I wasn’t the only one watching it all with a sigh of relief.

I am very lucky to have amazing friends in my life, those I think of as my family.  It’s there, that feeling that when you come together it just feels good, warm and loving. You don’t want to be apart from them, and yet you know that no matter how many miles or distance in time, you can always return to your alliance and find that comforted place again. Like falling into a bed of pillows, you are surrounded by the joys and contentment of your friendship.

I simply wish that we could be closer so these days didn’t have to be so few and far apart.

  7/30/12

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