The rain isn’t new, I live in Seattle. Rain is like a sunny day for people who live in Arizona. It happens, you learn to love shiny rainboots, caramel vanilla lattes, and rain friendly haircuts. But when it’s rainy on a Monday and there is no sunshine to take the bite off the day, the little things seem a bit bigger. I’m having a bad day.
I woke up this morning ready to tackle my large to-do list. I looked at the calendar on my phone as I brushed my teeth and it didn’t seem so bad. I just had two things scheduled – workmen to repair some house issues and pick up my daughter from after-school activities. Not too bad.
Normally I like to start the morning off easy. A shower, coffee, toast, music, and get into the office by 10. But as soon as I got out of the shower, the phone was already ringing. Today wasn’t going to go as I planned. Throwing on some clothes, running down the stairs with wet hair, tripping over the dog, splattering against the wall, this morning was going to be a challenge. Instead of having one crew of guys working on my house, I now had 5 different sets of workers waiting on me to open the door and none of them the drywall people I had planned for, who were supposed to arrive an hour later and never did.
Dogs barking, people coming in and out and leaving the door open, the phone ringing off the hook, all set the scene for this Monday. But, that’s life…” I can handle change and complication”. Well… that’s what I kept telling myself after one issue after another kept being handed to me.
After things started to get into place, I had a moment to start looking at my to-do list, one of them being to check on some bloodwork I had done last week. I simply needed to log in and see how wacky my magnesium level was going to be. Having Lyme, I am known to have unusually low Magnesium. However the results weren’t pretty. I need follow-ups, more tests, and to come up with new plans. Yet, on the bright side my Magnesium looked great.
There is something about getting poor blood test results that just sends me into tears. It’s a test that I work on, I shouldn’t fail! I am really smart, I work hard, I study, why can’t I just pass a blood test??
A million things flood my thoughts, tears come, and I just want to curl up on the couch with my fluffy blanket, lazy dog, and play hours and hours of Destiny. Yes, video games are my thing, my go to stress reliever. The phone is still ringing, people are still in and out of my house, the dogs are still barking, I still have to work. There is no time for feeling sorry for myself.
It’s a bad day, not the worst day. Just a simple bad day, with things that I can deal with in tiny bites. Living with Lyme disease means that sometimes you will wake up feeling like every muscle in your body hates you, sometimes your skin hates you, and sometimes you can feel just fine and somewhere inside your body, you are fighting a battle you know nothing about. I can fight this. I can fight the coinfections, fight the fibromyalgia, even fight feeling so tired that getting out of bed is almost impossible.
I have a good life. Even when there are Mondays that are so frustrating that you want to cry. I still get to wake up tomorrow, start a new day with a new to-do list, and count my blessings. Having a list full of things to do on a Monday, at first seemed like a lot to get done. But as I sat here working on today’s blog post I am pretty thankful for all of the things on that list. I started making notes about the good sides of all of my to-do’s.
Knowing that I have healthcare that will help me manage my health and live a long life isn’t something that everyone has. Getting the chance to do what I love ( Write ) and take care of the needs of my family without leaving my house isn’t something I can ignore. So the rain is still coming down, I still have things left undone. But I am not going to fall into the Mondays and let it get the best of me. Tomorrow is a few new day… and I am ready for this one to be over.