Dear Friends, here is what I wish you knew


Dear Friends,

I know you are my friends for many reasons and I like hanging out with all of you. You are funny and smart and sometimes you even make good food.

Spending time with you and listening to your stories is fun.  I like laughing with you and sharing time. Usually,I even laugh at first at your silly jokes about eating bacon. But here's what I really think after you keep making fun of me about being a vegetarian.

I don't like meat.

I don't like your jokes about how cute pigs are on your burger.  Becaise we are friends, I try to be nice and not force my views. Even though, I think that eating meat is cruel and unnecessary. The over indulgence of meat has caused global issues that are beyond help.

No, I smile and usually just move on.

You just think you are being funny.

I am pretty sure that you haven't figured out that by bringing up how much you enjoy eating dead flesh of animals that are treated like garbage before their sad deaths isn't funny to me, and it makes you look like a jerk.

You wouldn't like it if I came in and preached my views on being vegetarian in your face every time you took a bite of your death burger and pointed out exactly what is in that nugget or hot dog.

I know you would feel like I was being a jerk if I started laughing about what you feel is important and making fun of your choices of who you married, what you believe in, or your lifestyle.

It sucks when you come to my house and look at the food I have worked hard to make appetizing for everyone and let me know how much better it would be if you could kill something I value and spread it over the food I made instead.

It sucks when you can't just let it go for our friendship for one day and make me feel better.

I didn't become a vegetarian to ruin your lunch, your dinner, or your time with me.

My idea to become a vegetarian  is because I love animals. I feel like it is a healthy choice that I chose to adopt for myself. It's what I feel is morally right. That's MY choice.

I don't push my beliefs in your face. Because I'm not a jerk, I don't hang pictures of slaughtered animals up when you come around whining about not having your bacon double cheeseburger here at my house.

I don't make comments about which places we go to eat based on the fact that most places only have one or maybe two options for me to eat instead of the 10-20 options you have to choose from and the vegetarian dishes are usually a healthy dose of pasta or mushrooms, but hey.. there's always a salad!

So as my friends, I am asking you to keep in mind that you have used up all of your jokes and it's now old and kind of hurtful.

If you think I haven't heard how cute a cow is medium rare or pig is better as bacon you are wrong. I've heard chickens are good for eating, blah blah blah a hundred times. I'd much rather we use prison inmates as a meat source for your carnivorous feeding habits if you must eat meat.


open letter to meat eaters

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8 thoughts on “Dear Carnivore Friends Who Like to Tease Me About Being Vegetarian,”

  1. First: Thanks for the pingback!
    Secondly, this was an awesome read. I love the sarcastic tone! I understand your frustration with meat-eating “friends” who make smug comments about putting bacon on a salad to make it taste”better”, but then tell us that they’re glad we’re not one of the “militant” veg-heads who preach our views. It’s a catch-22. Part of me has considered only being friends with fellow veggies. Just a thought!

  2. The thing is, I don’t judge people by the food they choose to eat. I don’t care that some of them like Indian food and others just hate it. I couldn’t care less that some people hate Brussle sprouts when I think they are yummy. But when you can’t enjoy spending time with your friends because they are making you feel uncomfortable, you need to speak up. Hopefully those people who are honestly your friends will see the issue and stop acting like jerks. And if they don’t.. they aren’t invited to my next cook-off!

    But I do get your point and I am glad I am not alone in how I feel.

    I have been a vegetarian since I was born, so I have grown up with this. At school, when they used to wave bits of ham in my face (soooo funny/not). These days as an adult people just get plain aggresive when I tell them I’m a vegetarian. I don’t even say anything. I WANT to say that I think eating meat is cruel and unnecessary in a world where we are so intelligent and advanced we don’t need to eat animals on a mass scale any more. I don’t. I sit and faux laugh at their oink oink this pig is so delicious jokes. But when I was younger and more fierce and less jaded I used to argue back and they would call me a militant vegan or whatever. Sigh. Can’t win. And *I’m* the one who ISN’T eating the dead animals. I will never get it.
    SO glad you wrote this. Go you. 🙂

    1. Yeah, it is pretty awful what our own friends and family will say to us. I have been amazed that most people don’t have a problem humiliating vegetarians but say something about their religion or their lifestyle choices and they are ready to fight.

  4. I think you need some new friends that aren’t so rude. If you want to invite me for dinner, I will graciously eat whatever you choose to make for me. We do eat meat, but have cut way back on the portions. I have friends that can eat 16oz steaks and do. No one needs that much meat. Most vegetarian guests, that I know, are very polite and just eat what is available for them. When I know ahead of time, I provide at least on main dish that is vegetarian. Whatever you believe, please be kind to one another.

    1. Thank you! I think it is interesting that there are some topics that are free for teasing and some that are not. While yes, it gets me a bit riled up, I know that the people in my life really just aren’t as sensitive to it as I am.

      However! I love to cook, love to explore food choices, and I appreciate your thoughts. They really are sweet and tender, like baby peas!

      Please be kind. 🙂

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