If I loved a woman…

 

If I loved a woman I’d know that sometimes her emotions are so hot that she could set the world on fire with her words. That she feels everything with her entire soul, and when she’s ready she will let me know when it’s safe.

Sometimes you look at her and you know, she is the one who hangs the moon and has the power to destroy your world, because you gave her all the secrets. But you love her and want to make a life with her.

Why does that have to be so hard?

Women are complex, gentle, and even a little bit dangerous.  They have this way of being so complicated that nothing makes sense, and yet the only thing you want is to try and understand her. You won’t, not fully.

That’s because she doesn’t fully understand herself, not really.

She has no idea how crazy it sounds when she says “I don’t want you to fix this, I just want you to know” and yet you sit there trying to find something to say that doesn’t sound like you have no idea what to say. Still you try to make everything better when she’s upset, tell her it’s going to be alright, then listen to her vent about how nothing is ever going to be “alright” and how stupid it is that you can possibly think that by just saying things will be alright that it will just be.

But if I loved a woman, I’d be gentle and soft when she needs someone to hold her close and wipe away her tears. I’d tell her that I understand she’s hurting and that I want to make it better. I’d understand that sometimes I screw up and hurt her or make her mad.

I am sorry because that’s how I feel.

When she’s so mad that she can’t even stand to be close to me, I’d give her space just for a while and tell her softly that I am not mad at her for needing to get some distance from the person that makes her more angry than anyone else ever could, because she loves me and that love sometimes hurts us because love and hate are so passionate.

I’m not perfect.

I do things sometimes that just made sense at the time and then don’t when they fall apart. If I loved a woman, who happens to be there most of the time when I make mistakes I’d be the first one to tell her when she does something wrong that it’s okay, mistakes just help us learn what not to do.   I’d hope that she’ll do the same for me.

When she stands up for herself, she means it. She doesn’t want to have to do it, but she will when pressed against the wall about something. Sometimes she’ll come out with claws and teeth and other times she’ll push back so gently that it is almost unnoticeable, but you had better notice… and not forget.

When she does little things that are done to show how much she loves me back, I won’t let them go without something in response. Perhaps just as little as running her bath for her after a long day or bringing her flowers when you see that the vase has been empty for a while.

I’d see that when she walks away from my temper, when I am feeling like venting about how things aren’t going right for me, that she’s trying to keep things from getting worse. But she is still there for me when I need her most. I won’t follow her and demand that she feels just as bad as I do, it’s just not right. When she asks too many questions, I’ll answer the best I can and if I can’t… then I’ll just tell her that I don’t have the answers but I love her for her interests. Maybe I’ll find something nicer to talk about that will make us both feel better. Like a nice trip away to some imaginary place where there are no speeding tickets, bad work reviews, or neighbors with annoying dogs.

When it’s quiet, I’d take her hand and we’d go watch the sunset without needing to talk.  Because sunsets are best when seen with someone you love.

I’d make her dinner, something to amaze her with the things I would do just to bring her joy. I’d love that she was there with me, watching… talking… enjoying.   She works hard to make sure I have all that I need, this is what I can do for her to show that those things don’t go unnoticed.

I know that I don’t have to have all of the right words. But I will learn what the best words might be if that would make her happy.

If I loved her the best that I can, maybe she’ll be there for me.  She’ll be the one to take care of me in the middle of the night when I am sick.  She’ll be my best friend and laugh at all of my stupid jokes. Maybe if I treat her like she’s the most important person in the world to me, then she’ll ease my fears and tell me sweet things that make me smile.  Maybe if I bring her flowers for no reason, she’ll tell me her secrets too.  Maybe if I don’t push her too far, let it go when she asks to let it go, then she’ll not be so fearful of a fight the next time something brings us conflict.

I won’t hold a grudge, I won’t demand my way.  But I’ll be strong and protect her with everything I have.  I’ll be the one to stand up for her, let her see how much she means to me.  I won’t let anyone make her cry, because those tears break me into pieces that only she can put back together. I’ll be her hero if she’ll be my princess.

Those are the things that I would do, if I loved a woman.
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