When you cross the 40-year line, there are certain expectations that you put on yourself. These are things that you forgave yourself for not being so good at when you were in your 20s, or maybe even your 30s.
I thought “40 years old” was a finishing line, the place that marks when you are a “mature adult” — when you have all of your beans together. I had some pretty high expectations for who and what I'd be at 40. But, some things just didn't catch up to those expectations.