Not everyone is going to like me. I know that. I am different. I don’t blend in with the other crayons very well. But that doesn’t give anyone a reason to be mean. Different shouldn’t be a threat, it isn’t a reason to be obnoxious. Maybe I am not like anyone you’ve ever known, and that's ok.
Maya Angelou said “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Often I think people want to believe that people aren't who they say they are. Perhaps they want to love someone who isn't a right fit, hate someone for a reason that isn't real, or fail to accept that life isn't perfect and neither are we.
I am flawed. I laugh at the wrong times, can't help my own tears, and often forget to think before I speak.
I love my friends and family deeply. I am moved by their highs and lows, sometimes so much that I have a hard time letting go when they are hurting. I want to help, I want to make things better. But I respect everyone’s movement through life and try hard not to interfere. Everyone has a path they have to travel in life and sometimes the meaning behind the choices people make aren’t very clear. Yet I don’t have a right to judge and neither does anyone else.
The world frustrates me sometimes. Politicians have all lost track of who they were supposed to be and why. Cruelty to both human and creature has gone beyond belief. And there are times when I just have to turn off the news and focus on my own life and family because only there do I feel like I can find peace.
I have a solid belief system that helps me find peace and gives me serenity when everything feels so chaotic. It’s not like everyone else’s, and that’s ok. I don’t believe that everyone in the world believes exactly the same way as anyone else. We are humans and free to think on our own and come to our own belief system through the passages of time and experience. I don’t believe that there is only one can and will lead you home, where ever you believe home may be.
Mean people make me sad. They spend so much time and energy focused on hurting and destruction that they neglect the good in their own lives. They make their world ugly and then blame innocent people for the reason they feel so toxic inside. They make me sad because I know that we all have a choice on how to feel and how we should react, they chose hurt over the richness of forgiveness and movement. They lash out and hurt others because they have no control, they are weak and small.
I stand up for what I believe in and won’t just go along with the show. When you ask me about how I feel about something, I will truthfully give you exactly how I feel. To give only what sounds pleasant isn’t the truth. I won’t lie for the sake of blending in, that isn’t who I am. Sometimes people feel threatened by this and don’t like me much. Maybe they are just so used to being lied to that it feels more comfortable.
I have a hard time when I want to say something, but can’t. There are so many times in life when you want to speak up, let the world know how you feel, or even just vent about how you are feeling, and yet you just have to let it go and walk away. This is one of my weaknesses. I have a really hard time with just letting it go, but I have great friends and family who have taught me that I can do what I need to do and walk away, then come to them and release my words.
I’m not perfect, because perfect people do not exist. We are all wrong sometimes and we all have flaws. I don’t even pretend to have all of the answers. Sometimes I am just grumpy! I don’t think I am better than anyone else and just the same I am no less than anyone else as well.
Not everyone is going to like me. Some people will challenge my thoughts and actions, inspire me to change, create a brilliant colored world full of ideas and together we can grow. Some people just won’t understand me.