You know, “Fat” has to be one of the most hateful ugly words. “Fat” and all of its ugly friends not only tears apart the creation of self-esteem but it continues to spread like a cancer into the brain. It reaches into those moments where you are the happiest; the most excited, and whispers into your ear. “Do you really think you are pretty? Maybe, if you lost a few pounds.”
“Fat” isn’t racist or sexist, it hates everyone. It doesn’t care if you are young or old, because it will touch your life no matter who you are.
It’s there; lingering behind the image in the mirror, in those photos of you when you weren’t looking or posing for the camera, “Fat” is always there behind judging eyes. You can’t escape it.
You know that look, when you walk into the room and you feel the examination by those with petty voices and lower self-esteem. They look you over, lingering not over your womanly bosom, but searching for signs of excess and unapproved flaws. You know who she is, that mean little woman who talks about how she can’t wait to get to the GYM, how much she eats.. or doesn’t, how “Fat” she is.
It’s true… she is “Fat” because she has become that word, that feeling, that ugly cruelty. She’s forgotten how pretty she looks when she’s not obsessed with weight. She can’t see past the way it makes her feel and how angry she is that she’s allowed “Fat” to rule her life so she wants it to ruin yours too.
Don’t think that “Fat” isn’t a liar, because it’s the worst kind of liar. It hides behind beautiful photos of starving models and claims that everyone who matters are thin and fragile looking. “Fat” tells you that you aren’t healthy because you aren’t like them. “Fat” tells you that you are a failure because all you wanted was something sweet to take away the bitterness of the day. “Fat” tells you that nobody will ever love you. It comes to you in private places and tells you that all of your worth is out there for everyone to see, it’s wrong. It knows, but it will lie anyways.
Like an unfaithful lover, “Fat” will be there with you and pretend that everything is ok, smile in every photo, but it will eat away at your soul because you always know the truth.
Our innocents are even subjected to “Fat” and the ugly tendrils of its reach. Grandmothers, feeling the need whisper, in good nature scold that maybe Baby is a little TOO chubby, shreds the joy and confidence of Motherhood and leaves doubt at a mother’s ability. It clears room for “Fat” to come slither up closer and whisper that maybe Baby gets it from Mommy… who obviously hasn’t lost any weight since the pregnancy. Perhaps both of them should lay off the sweets. Right?
Do not mistake “Fat” for being unhealthy. Do not mistake those who want to make their bodies stronger, healthier so that they can enjoy their lives fuller and longer. Don’t allow “Fat” to be the reason that you take that walk, pass on the extra oils, or choose to drink more water instead of the latte. Do it because it’s right for your body. Do it because it brings joy to your life to take that time for yourself and make your body work for you. Enjoy the release of your body’s hormones of pleasure as if it actually feels buzzing with life. Do it because that joy damages the power “Fat” has on you.
Be proud of your body. Love it like nobody else ever will. Give it time when it’s tired and had a long day. Be faithful to it, as if your life depends on caring for this beautiful relationship, it does. Look at your amazing perfect body and delight in the knowing that you are just perfect together, because you are. Don’t let anyone abuse it, make it feel unworthy; try to take away the worth, because you are the sacred guardian of this special gift.
Look at it as proudly as you would your greatest masterpiece and share that pride without restraint. You wouldn’t treat your greatest work with disrespect, mask it with shameful lies of its true meaning, hide it behind layers of doubt, yet you would your body. Wouldn’t you?
I’m tired of the way “Fat” made me feel this week. I’m sick of the way I let it sink into my thoughts and lie to me when I had felt confidant just a few moments before. I hate the way “Fat” was slung at me like an ugly dead thing and left in my soul to rot and stink up my life. I am so proud of those models who have made a stand and are showing the world that their bodies are amazing with every soft curve, so full womanly essence that their photos scream beauty. “Fat” tries to mock beauty with its disgusting judgments. But perhaps the one thing more powerful that “Fat” is confidence.
REAL Woman versus the “model” (momof7.com)
( Reposted from Jan 12, 2012 )