An Open Letter to Haters

Dear Hater,

There is hope for you, but you must want it.

The Internet has opened many doors for people around the world. We have been able to make friends with people we might have never met, jobs have been found, and even love has found its way to connect hearts together across great distances. But sadly, in spite of the wonderful things that have come from having this ability to speed around the world virtually and collect vast amounts of knowledge with a few clicks, hate and intolerance has also gone viral.


You haters just sit there drinking your hater-aid and searching for things to complain about. You don’t have a good reason, you just don’t have to face the people that you have just torn apart with your nasty words and disapproval. You hate your neighbors, your job, your government and anyone who opposes your narrow-minded views.

I doubt you would have the nerve to walk up to strangers with your arrogance and revulsion and tell a transgender person that you wish they didn’t exist. But certainly you’ll make ignorant comments on articles and Facebook about “Shemales” and “It”.

I’ve read too many comments this week taking part in the hate parades and I am ashamed to be in the same gene pool as some of these people.

So if you don’t like gay people getting married. Don’t marry someone who is gay. Don’t try to take away the joy, stability, complication, frustrations, and sometimes misery of being married from anyone else. We all get to make those choices for ourselves and you don’t get the right to tell anyone else who can and can’t get married. We voted and you lost. Done.

horribleYou don’t like transgender people. I don’t like stupid people. I get it, some people rub us the wrong way. I tend to stay away from people who are ignorant, small minded, and like to wallow in the mud puddle of their own hate and intolerance. If you don’t think you can be polite to someone who is transgender, move away.

You don’t believe in global warming, animal rights, gun control, or that ketchup isn’t a vegetable. And that’s okay, we all need references of who we would rather not become and what happens when relatives marry. But understand, you are a dying breed because nobody wants to be just like you. We are done with your flags of “Free Speech” because truly you don’t know what that actually means. Now we are raising our own flags in support of love, freedom to be whomever you wish to be, and changing the way we talk to each other with one conversation at a time.

So I am sorry that I wished you would leave the planet. I shouldn’t have said that I am sure that years of high fructose corn syrup has rotted your brain cells. And I will try harder to restrain when I see you struggling in a world that no longer accepts bigots, racists, and homophobes.

But there is hope for you, no matter how old you are. Everyone can change. If you don’t like who you’ve become, who you think you were born to be, you too can change. There are many people who will openly embrace your change and welcome you to a loving community of people who understand that it’s sometimes difficult to go through this process but you are loved in spite of who you once were. We will cheer for you when instead of encouraging others to join in the hating, you either keep your thoughts to yourself or you speak up in defense of those who can’t.

One day at a time, one step closer to becoming someone who isn’t filled with anger. You can do it. I know, there was a time when I was angry too. I struggled with my own fears and biases. I know now that it came out of my own ignorance and naivety. I needed to make some changes to be a better human. I needed to get out of the hole that I’d been living in and see the world with open eyes and wider heart. I needed to learn how to love myself and let go of the fear placed upon me by outdated extremist religious views I grew up with. Hell, I grew up Southern Baptist in rural Tennessee where the only “colored” people I’d ever seen was on television as I was changing the channels to find the Waltons or some other approved show that wouldn’t “rot my mind.” I was a kid in a time when everyone was so fearful of the “gay disease” spreading through toilet seats and sharing a classroom with a “tainted kid.” So really, I do understand how difficult it can be to try to evolve. But it can be done and when you let go of the bonds of hate and fear, you too will know what a wonderful world we live in.

I am excited to be in this age of independence and embracing the movement of love. I know it takes effort to push through the barriers of race, religion, and economics. But I have faith in mankind and I know that this too shall pass.

So when you aren’t sure what to say, remember that you don’t have to say anything at all. Sometimes it’s better to stay silent and let people think you are stupid, than to open your mouth (or type it out) and prove them right.

If you would like to take steps to overcome hate, just ask. I’d love to help you or help find someone in your area who would gladly reach out to you. There is hope.

~ C. ~

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