I’m sorry we can’t be friends.

I know you have tried to say you are sorry. I get it. But the fact is that you are who you are and we are not compatible. I am letting go of the past, it’s over.

I had a lot of hurt that finally burst out of me, burning hot and melting everything in it’s path. But that mountain of pain has settled, ashes blown away, and I am ready for regrowth. I am stronger now, the layers of emotions taught me how to be a better person. Even anger can be a force of creation when you know when to let it go.

But we cannot be friends. You are destructive and unhealthy for me. I am not your mother, not your advisor, not your savior. I don’t have to harden myself so that I can be strong for when your life starts to meltdown again, and it will.

It’s over. The ash storm of memories has blown away and I am no longer avoiding your existence, but I am not seeking it out either. No matter how many pretty words you want to plant around me, accuse me of ignoring, declaring your pain and wearing it around like a badge of honor, we are not friends and never will be again.

So bring peace to yourself with knowing that I forgive you. But we are done and will never ever be close again. There is nothing you can say that will make me come back, trust me… if I haven’t fallen for your other bullshit traps I won’t fall for any new ones. Leave me alone, let me go away without your constant reminders that you are still watching me in hopes that one day I’ll be weak enough to let you close to me again. I won’t.

I am sorry we can’t be friends.

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