August… I love it and dread it at the same time. It isn’t just about knowing that it is the end of getting a few minutes more sleep during the weekday, it’s about change and moving forward.
The baby is about to start high school this year. My last one… the fact that there will be no more visits from the Tooth Fairy to our house, no more “playdates” with groups of giggling children and moms, no more picking out my children’s clothes because now they choose them and buy them for themselves.
August has always been the time when we packed all of the fun into the last minutes of freedom. Summer vacations, water days, ice cream, and purging the closets of the worn out, stained, and left behind clothes from the year before are all crammed into 3 weeks at the beginning of August. Even now that the boys have all grown up and moved away, it is still my routine to start sorting through the details of our routines and putting everything back together in a more organized state.
I am also always a little melancholy about knowing that the house will get a little quieter with everyone gone. I love being a mother. I love watching the moments of our children’s lives and collecting memories. I love being there for them as they start the day off, giving them the pep talks when they need a boost, and waiting for them when they return from school to ask them about their days. I can feel the time counting down now to when I am no longer needed. The last one is moving independently towards her own state of adulthood and once she’s there I will have to change everything about who and what I am. It’s a terrifying reality that directly hits me every August.
But for now, I will enjoy these moments of peace and gather my strength for the upcoming school year.