It seems like lately everything is moving so fast. I want to make it slow down so I feel like I am enjoying it more. But the harder I try to slow it down the faster it seems like it flies by. I suppose that means that life is in a good upswing.
There was a time that I just felt stuck in a rut. Things weren't moving forward, days dragged on, and I didn't feel as if I was making any sort of progress at all. I was as I described myself many times “miserable” and had no idea of how to make this sludge of a life go by better. The more I wallowed in the mud of my unfulfilled life the more I hated myself for not making any changes to improve it.
I don't know exactly what made me change, I am sure it was a combination of a few things. One of the most drastic changes was losing someone very close to me, someone who was always talking to me about making changes for the better and doing away with negative people and practices that held me back. I was completely devastated the day I found out he died. But it meant something, dug in and tore me away from my old life. MY life as I knew it was OVER. And when that life ended, the one with him in it, the one where I took things for granted, I got the opportunity to start a new one. Of course I had to drown in confusion for a while because I didn't actually want to have to start a new life.
Life right now is so full of things that feel good and are positive that I have struggled to try to slow down so I can feel like I am fully remembering how good they really are. I have a great family, I am so proud of all of them. I have a chance to make fresh starts with everything, sometimes it is just overwhelming to look around and find that everything is new and it is up to you to weed out who and what stays in your life, what holds you back and what sets you free.
~ Crysta ~