Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.
I've been told I am a strong person. I've been told that others see me as this solid rock that they can lean against and they can trust that I will be able to carry it all. I am not sure about that. In fact, I don't know how strong I am at all. Perhaps it's knowing that I have a few close friends that I can ask for advise that will hold me up if I need, but I don't know for sure that I am all that strong.
But I am not about to give in without a fight either. Maybe that's just being stubborn and not strong at all. I just know that no matter what happens I just have to hold on and wait for things to change.. they always change. The darkness can't last forever, there's just too much constantly in flux for the negative to remain steady. Finding the light, the positive things to hold on to is how I get through. Fear of being weak and pathetic perhaps pushing me to dig out of my self-pity.
I can deal with the pain, it's only physical. I can deal with the anxiety, it's only mental. I am just not so sure about the unknown.
Republished from Jan 2, 2012