This has been such an emotional week since the loss of my dearest friend and brother. There have been times when I just felt so tired that all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and cover over with blankets and tears, but that isn’t who I am. Each day I fought to get up and dressed, get outside and work. I needed to be around people and never let the sadness of loss become the master of my day.
Today the final words were said, the flags lowered, and many tears shed for him. I needed to have a few moments to breathe, to think about how my life was going to move forward from this moment on without him in the physical realm of my life, as I know he will always be in the spiritual part. And while I know the next few days, weeks, months, and years will be hard because of this change brought on by the sudden loss of someone I cared deeply about, I am almost excited about who I will become.
He was a good man. Yet in truth he struggled to know this for sure. He was a great brother, but it took an effort to keep himself in that focus. Lance was funny, but not just because a comic.. it was because he never saw how funny his life actually was. He was a dear friend who would take your mind off your own troubles because he was too busy talking about his own life and it was exhausting to try to keep up with him and still feel badly about your own.
He made life extraordinary. And I am so thankful for the time we shared in this life together.
I read a passage from Jonathan Livingston Seagull which called to me about the meaning of true friendship and loss and it inspired me to keep creating and moving forward. I hope you will as well. Peace,
“If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we’ve destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don’t you think that we might see each other once or twice?”
- Within Existence Life Itself Begins. ~ Yolanda Suarez (elephantjournal.com)