Silly me, I was standing here looking foolish thinking of how nice it would be to look back a various moments of my life and not wince when I thought of you. But I see now that I was really headed in the right direction when I took that one way ticket out of Stupidville and moved away from Cali and all of its ridiculous connections.
Yeah, that’s what I want to say now that I have stepped out of the line for the Crazy Train. But I won’t.. I will just go back to my peaceful life and leave that part of my youth alone. I am going to go get right back on the Riverboat cruise and sail away from that nonsense that started off with an innocent adding of an old friend on Facebook and is now going to hopefully finished with a polite unfriending, if there is such thing.
So what happened? Really? How could I have been so confused about where this could go? I saw my old friend, we were both really excited that the small world of Facebook was able to reconnect us after 12 years. We were able to actually just move on from the last time we spoke that didn’t go so well. It was nice really.. I got to tell him that I was sorry that it didn’t work out between us, we were really never supposed to be more than close friends. And I was really sorry that because of that, I felt the need to change my life and move away from a toxic area. I found the life I was supposed to be living and the husband I was supposed to be head over heels in love with. He got to say that it was no big deal that he totally agreed that we were silly for trying to be more than friends and that he never ever thought of us as “Exes” but as friends only as we should remain. Yeah! That’s the way it should be!
He told me about his beautiful wife and his 2 fantastic kids who were the reason for his whole existence. I couldn’t be happier. I danced the “Life is Good” shuffle for days after chatting with him over Facebook. I was even delighted when within a few minutes of ending our conversation on such a good note, his toothy grinning wife wanted to “friend” me on Facebook. How nice is that? I quickly responded with a positive “yes” to our new cyber friendship that I could only see blooming with picture exchanges and silly cat videos. Because it was just adorable how quickly she wanted to be part of the catching up! She even managed to get him to post complimentary photos of the two of them on both of their profiles. Cute..kind of like.. his and hers bowling shirts..
However even in my whirlwind fever of happiness over finding my old friend I kind of found it odd that after that first day I hadn’t heard from him again.. or really her either. But hey.. it’s December and everyone has a crazy time around then, right? Then came the first odd message.. ” I can’t talk to you, we are Exes and it makes my wife uncomfortable. ” Oh hey, yeah.. wow.. I totally can sorta almost understand that.. a little bit. She doesn’t know me..doesn’t know really anything about silly childhood friendships that changed lives. Really, it’s ok. So, we can still give a virtual high-five, right? No need to talk about anything mushy and gushy.. really. We are friends.. the kind that is totally cool with keeping the spouses happy. Dude! I mean, c’mon.. we are SO over 22.
So maybe not.. not going to talk to me now. Hey, wow.. yeah. I am pretty sure if I just explain to her that it’s really not like that. That there’s no way in HELL that I would EVER EVER EVER want to betray my husband, my children, and really my freaking self-respect in order to make her jealous by going after her husband, that maybe she’ll calm down and realize that lots of husbands and wives have plenty of both male and female friends on Facebook, a few of them they actually know! I mean who in their right mind would want to be rude to someone who has just told them that they are really happy that their old friend has finally found someone who can make them a better man and it shows with the joy and happiness that shines through his words of his lovely wife? * Here is where I gag at my own attempts *
Well.. let’s skip forward to where I realize that I have been standing here in line for what I thought was something peaceful and mellow that was in reality…just plain nuts. Maybe I have grown up in the last few years, but I feel no need to go on my husband’s Facebook account to personally yell at each and every person he’s having a conversation with and insult them. I don’t have the time or energy to get that upset over stupid things like that.. But come on Lady! You are actually going to yell at me with your obnoxious ALL CAPS typing skills with misspelled words that stand out like an elephant in a tutu? Please Honey.. You really don’t want to get me started.
But then I looked around at the others standing in this line.. still going crazy for mosh pits and Metallica. I looked at the absolute lack of respect for common courtesy around me and realized.. I was in the wrong line. They can have it.. really. I don’t want to be on that ride. It wasn’t going to end well, someone was going to throw up. There wasn’t going to be any cheerful singing children or silly cat videos. It was going to be a nightmare that only my true friends could point out to me. I was trying hard to close my eyes so I wouldn’t be scared, but in truth I needed to get the hell out of there. It sucks.. really it sucks a lot. But, it’s better to jump out of line there than to wish that you could get off once the ride got to the top.
So.. lesson learned. Time to dust myself off and shake off the annoyance. Some people deserve great happiness with someone they love. They work hard for each other to overcome all that life puts out there for them to overcome. And other people just take whatever is offered to them and choose to ignore the hateful words thrust upon them as vows of love. I have known that life.. and I walked away from it and went searching for my own version of happiness, and I think I’ve found it. I am blessed with amazing real friends who are brave enough to tell me when they see something going wrong for me and I have a husband who is strong enough to let me make my own mistakes and loves me just the same.. he’ll even buy me cotton candy along the way.