Have you ever been so tired that just the thought of moving makes you want to put your head down and cry? That heaviness of your eyes that begs to close for just a moment, but you don’t dare because you know that you won’t opened them again for hours? I’m there… really.. I’m just done.
Maybe it’s the weather, dark and gloomy that’s got me down. I know I’m sleeping at night because I am dragging my heavy swollen with sleep body off the couch each night and wishing I didn’t have to go through the motions of preparing for bed. Sleep is coming, but it’s not refreshing, it’s not waking me up in the morning and telling me that I have recharged for the last 10 hours and I can do anything.. it’s just making me want more.
The holidays are stressful for me, always have been. I have never enjoyed them, likely never really will. I’ll smile and pretend for everyone else that I don’t want to crawl into my cave of comfiness and sleep off Christmas like a drunk with a bottle. But deep down, I just want a nap.
My Lyme could be kicking my butt a little stronger, maybe. But I am living on Starbucks to get through the day and waiting til 9 each night so I can pass out without the guilt. Until then, I have to keep my eyes open.. even at the stop light.